Well, I got my wisdom teeth out yesterday. So I thought to myself, what better time to write a blog than while medicated and in some discomfort.
I got to thinking about how I entered the world of fatherhood and really how simple it was.
It started with a pretty basic recipe:
First you pre-heat the oven. Then take 2 cups of ass, a handful of nuts, 2 pinches of nipple, one rooster (a.k.a - cock), and one egg. Put these ingredients together in a mixing receptacle and shake vigorously. Top off with a tablespoon of cream.
Let combination set for 2-3 days, and then leave in oven for a solid 8-10 months. If you've done everthing correctly the final product should slide right out when it is finally done.
Although if the combination gets to big while baking, the top of the oven may have to be opened up to remove the product. Likewise if the product somehow shifts in the oven it may need to be gently turned with a pair of tongs.
The final result: a life altering, sleep-depriving, absolute miracle of life. A child who can be molded into the type of person you would like them to become.
I've spent my entire life learning, taking in and retaining useful and some useless information. And now it's my turn to take what I have learned and teach it to Malaia.
I just need a couple of days of keeping her away from my face. No accidental punches, slaps, remotes to the mouth for me. Nope a little rest and maybe a good book or two. Or a current movie release. Mixed in with some soft, liquid food, and some pain relief.